Hairdos, don'ts, and didn't even trys

So now ya'll know I attended a couple of weddings over the past weekend, and I have to tell you I was sorely disappointed in the state of the women in attendance. I just don't know what's happened to folks that they can't even bother to look nice for a wedding. I mean, I know we're in the era of casual Fridays, hell I look like a homeless person 4 out of 5 days a week, but for a special occasion I can pull it together. The men, well they all wore suits which is easy enough and I won't bother to go into the difference in a nice suit versus a JC Penny suit, because anytime you can get a guy into a tie, I think there's cause for celebration. The women were my main disappointment. For the most part they were dressed alright, one fuchsia backless number not withstanding, but their hair...well, it was a downright disaster. I mean, not a single one of them did a damn thing with it, save the bridesmaids whose coiffures were hairsprayed within an inch of their lives and looked like a curling iron threw up on top of their heads. Alas, this is the price you pay for being friends with the bride. The non-bridesmaids were the issue. I mean, I know these women spent hundreds of dollars on their dresses, and couldn't even be bothered to run a comb through their hair! I mean it's a formal event, put a clip in it for Christ's sake! I don't care how much time you spent shopping for that dress, when you wear it with stringy, flat, poorly-highlighted locks, the whole outfit just goes to pot.

Now I know this would never happen in the South, perhaps because everyone has at least one beautician in their immediate family or perhaps because any prom-like events are treated with the utmost respect, but whatever the reason, Southerners don't leave their homes half dressed for a fancy occasion. I mean, if the bride's family is gonna pay for you to eat and drink all night for free, the least you can do is put on a little lipstick for 'em. Of course, in the end, the lack of hairdos only made me look all the better, but I still just wanted to say to those girls:

"Honey, get yourself together!"