Grease is the word

Dear Lord, it's as if I've died and gone to heaven...thank you reality television for bringing me "You're The One That I Want," the new talent competition whose winners will star in Grease on the Broad-way. It's like American Idol times 3 cause you've gotta be what we in the industry (ha!) call a triple threat - singer, dancer, actor. Well okay, to be fair, there's very little "acting" per se in Grease, and the songs aren't so much complicated as catchy, but there certainly is dancing.

The applicant pool is significantly smaller than Idol because of the dancing bit and because it's the first season (please God let there be a second), which makes some of the contestants actually qualified and not all tone-deaf folks desperate for attention, like the mile-long line of Idol contestants. Not to worry though, there are still plenty of crazy talent-less folks whose friend pool is so shallow they actually let them believe they can sing.

Now y'all know I'm not watchin' this cause I've got stars in my eyes, but more because I like to make fun of folks. I have long since given up the stage to folks who can actually get up on it, but I have waited in the audition lines in New York and I am certain there is enough talent on this tiny island to cast a musical as benign as Grease, but how else can they actually get folks to come see it for the 900th time? Every high school in America has put this show up in their gymnasium, not to mention however many times it's already been on the Broad-way, so having America track the outcome is a great way to drum up business. And it's not like it matters even if they suck, cause you know the producers got this cast locked down with actual Equity talent, so the understudies are bound to take over after opening night.

It's on Sunday nights on NBC and, if you can believe it, they have found an even more obnoxious host than Ryan Seacrest. Billy Bush from Access Hollywood is the guy interviewing the contestants and on top of being an idiot, he is the most arrogant prick on the face of the earth and I really wanted to stab him in both his eyes immediately. I'm gonna need y'all to catch a few episodes cause I know I'm gonna need to speak on it as the weeks progress, plus you're only missing The Apprentice, which I won't even allowed to be taped at my house lest that billionaire bastard get a rating number outta me.

Oh, and make sure you catch the opening song because it really is the most awful and absurd rendition of the title song that has ever been! It's FABULOUS!!!