Mini Melt-Down

And so today I had what can only be called a mini-meltdown. There was no great built-up to this event, unless you count the fact that I was in my hell-hole of an office, attempting to communicate with people whose mantra is, "if at first you don't succeed...oh well." Oh, and I'm leaving tomorrow to spend 5 fun-filled days standing in a store somewhere deep in the Heartland, not a bar in sight. Add to that, my 3-day headache caused by the kink in my neck I can't afford to have chiropracted out, and I was hot, and I was hungry. But nothing out of the ordinary.

So anyway, this little fool at work tried to give me some sass, and I nipped that in the bud quick, fast, and in a hurry. And then for some reason I was possessed to call my apartment management office and make an enquiry, and don't you know that girl took a tone with me.

Well that was just enough.

I had to hang up on that Ho-Dog-B and when that wasn't enough, I threw the phone across the room. (the office phone of course, because I don't have to pay for the replacement)

Contrary to popular belief, Queenie is not prone to such physical outbursts, as I prefer the sharp-tonged retort. But I have to tell you, every once in a while, throwing things feels good! Just ask my friend Homeslice, she's a slammer from way back, and I used to give her a hard time but now I realize she's on to something.

I tell you, when that phone sailed into the wall, my assistant (God bless his sweet heart) he sat right up at attention and nearly ran out the door to get my Diet Pepsi, which he knows balances me everyday by 11am and which I was 20 minutes overdue in consuming at the time of the incident. My boss came rushing in to remove all hurl-able objects from my desk, and for the rest of the day found other people to bother with incessant questions.

Huh, turns out this crazed tantrum shtick really works...why on earth haven't I tried it before? Let me be clear though, before y'all go shattering office supplies at will...this must be a very rare occurrence. Not because I'm advocating a sense of decorum or anything so ridiculous, but because if you melt-down on a regular basis it loses a significant amount of impact. I dare say my jaded assistant would have batted an eye had he not genuinely feared for his safety, and if you throw and miss often enough, folks are gonna know you're just showin out, and then you'll just look silly.

So, all I'm sayin is, I have discovered the fulfillment in smashing objects into the wall, but have also found the wisdom to determine when to stay calm and when to let fly! Pick your melt-downs wisely, time them for greatest impact, oh, and only throw things you never want to see again;-)